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I am an American, but am I proud? I have been debating this topic in my head in the past months especially leading up to today, 9/11. Have I come up with an answer? No, but many ideas.
First of all, it is my dream to live, well, not in the United States. I would love to live all over the world , moving every few years, and finally after discovering as much as I can, settle down. But in the mean time, I am stuck here. As a young child, I was very proud to be American. Now I think that is because of the American "history" we were taught in grade school. To be honest, I feel like I've been lied to. As a high school student, last year I took an U.S history course, and realized what the real American history was about. I've always had this feeling as a kid that America was great and all, and really had good values and freedoms. When I learned about American imperialism and colonization, I was horrified and surprised. America was the nation that fought against all of that for freedom, and yet we did it to others. I can totally understand why people outside of the U.S would not like it. Even though they think we are possibly helping, by coming into your country, why is it America's business. Most of the time it is not. Why do you even want to be like us here? America is filled with shallow and completely stupid people. There are so many people who waste their lives away doing nothing with their lives and not trying to do anything to live nicely and many have all the resources available to them. There are so many people in countries around the world dying to live comfortable lives like we do here.
I am mostly liberal, coming from New Jersey. I probably have a biased view, but I really think that New Jersey, NYC, and parts of California (NOT L.A!) are the only intelligent parts of this country. Of course that is biased, but the majority of people in my school except for maybe a few are not Bush supporters. You go down to Florida or Virginia -and its difficult to convince people he is bad. It is sad and pathetic, that many people do not think for themselves, and many people from Texas love him to death, and believe everything he says and supports everything he does just because he is from their State. I almost wish we were not one united country, but a continent of fifty different ones. Each state or cluster of states has their own personalities, views and beliefs. If New Jersey were its own country, It would be pretty kick ass.

Now, as to 9/11. Seeing the smoke from my house, just killed me. I remember that day, being in the sixth grade, like it was yesterday, and sometimes it still feels like it was only last year. There is nothing worse than having a "i remember exactly what i was doing on the day of____ attacks" day. It could be Pearl Harbor, a president being assassinated, and now in the case of most Americans today, 9 11. And especially those close to where it hit. Like i said, seeing the smoke made it extremely real and petrifying. New Jersey-being the home of very important ports (in Elizabeth-about 10 minutes from me) could have very well been the next target, and when George Bush almost sold them... that would have been just ridiculous. Anyway, the memory of 9/11 will always be with me, and I will always remember that day-not knowing all day of what was happening except that the towers were no longer there-for a reason I did not know at the time. I was 11, the impact of it didn't hit me right away. When my mom picked me up, in tears, i knew something horrible had happened. We came home , and put the news on right away. every single channel. Watching over and over again, the planes hitting, the fires burning, and the people jumping out from the floors like the 80th floor, people jumping, people dying, the towers coming crashing down , the people in the streets screaming and running, and the debris flying and crashing down .wow. the impact of watching it on television was enough. i think i would have just stood there and froze if i was actually seeing it in real life. The footage was played over and over again, deathly. The panic. You just don't understand the impact of war, until it hits home, and this is one of the only times it has in recent history. I feel horrible and embarrassed and ashamed of the fact that America is inflicting this pain on Iraqis. I have read some journals and some of these letters from Iraq and their lives have been turned around. We think they are going from bad to good but for many it has gone from Fine to horrible. The people live in fear everyday that there will be panic explosion and death. We had to deal with it one day, they have to deal with it everyday.
So, I guess back to the original question, am I patriotic of the United States? I am patriotic of New York City-basically my second home, I am patriotic for the people who fought for their rights such as womens rights and gay and lesbian rights and any other rights fought for especially in the 60s. I am patriotic of the people who come to America or struggle in America and eventually live that so called "American Dream" -if they worked hard, persevered, and really really strived good for them and congratulations. But in no way am I patriotic of the principals we convince people and claim we stand for-They are Great, but if we don't actually follow them, then I am not proud. I am in no way patriotic of the scummy white trash citizens who do Shit, while people are risking their lives from Mexico to come here just to live their lives-maybe in the worst conditions and maybe illegally, but they have more justification and integrity and character and soul than many people living here. let them come here, let them have a chance, send all those scumbags wasting away to mexico in their place. and in no absolute way am i patriotic of president Bush. I am ashamed that I live here sometimes. I am not ashamed of the life I live or what I believe in or what I THOUGHT america was or what it is supposed to stand for. but for what it has become.